Not Quite "Ready For My Close Up Mr. DeMille"

When Chris & Holly were at the vet's last week for their annual check ups, I bought them a "foraging kit."  Parrots in the wild spend a huge part of their days foraging for food.  This keeps them focused and busy.  Captive parrots (aka pets) don't have to forage for food so they can get very bored and become destructive to their surroundings and even to themselves (ie feather plucking).  Cockatoos are particularly vulnerable to this.  Consequently it is very important to provide pet parrots with lots of stimulation to keep them busy and provide them with hours of fun.  The best way to do this is with loads of toys in all differest colors, shapes and materials.  Chris & Holly's cages and play areas are loaded with toys.  DisneyWorld Manhattan comes to mind when viewing their cages.  The foraging kit we got at the vet is a bag of assorted toys and it looked like the kinds of things the boys, Chris especially, would love. 

And, it just so happens that the veterinary hospital is having a contest to find the best video of one of their patients utilizing skills and information learned via the hospital.   So, I thought a video of Chris playing with the items in his foraging kit would be a great idea.  Chris had other ideas......below are two versions I shot, neither of which I have submitted yet.  Not sure they are contest ready.

Hats off to our foraging kit

The cockatoo steals everyone's heart

Annual Check Ups

Chris & Holly had their annual check ups this week.  And, as usual, Chris didn't think of it so much as a trip to the doctor as much as a chance to socialize and pick up more chicks. 

The veterinary hospital

 

I take the birdbabies to the Animal Medical Center if they need vet care in Manhattan and to Dr. Hess in Westchester.  Dr. Hess is their main vet and they first met her at the AMC, but she now has her very own exotics hospital in Bedford Hills, which is perfect for us!  The hospital is brand new and very nice, and only treats exotic animals.  It definitely got the cockatoo stamp of approval. 

Upon arrival, Chris instantly attracted a crowd of women.  I don't know what it is about that bird, but he just seems to ooze sex appeal.  Ladies of all species love him.  In addition to the human female attention, he also flirted with a female eclectus parrot who lives at the hospital.  Holly, meanwhile, kept calling back and forth with a male sun conure who was in another room.  I don't know what they were saying, but it seemed like they knew each other.

 

Chris entertaining the clinic staff

The check up itself went well and the boys are healthy.  Chris was mostly interested in getting a massage from Dr. Hess and Holly was mostly interested in avoiding his check up.  He flew around, jumping from head to head, and it took a concerted effort on the part of five of us to catch him.  Luckily, Dr. Hess has a cockatoo and a pionus, just like us, so she knows the deal and was patient enough to allow Holly to use her head as a landing strip and to indulge Chris in some affection.

Dr. Ritchie & Dr. Hess examining Chris

Holly, bundled up in a towel, awaiting his beak and nail trims

A little cockatoo love with Dr. Hess

And, no trip anywhere would be complete unless Chris & Holly took out some time to groom each other.  They are 'brothers' after all, and where one goes the other goes. 

The boys interacting

 

After their check ups were finished and all the flirting was over we got back in the car and headed home to Barbara's house.

Holly & Chris ready to roll

Spirit of Independence

The summer fun continued for Chris & Holly in July........they hung out on the porch most days, being mellow and enjoying the peaceful solitude of country living.  Of course, there was plenty of snacking, screaming (the cockatoo), flying, playing and bathing out there as well. 

Chris looking handsome on his swing

Holly, soaking wet after a bath

We tried to get them to play in the makeshift wading pools Barbara bought them, but I think the sides were too steep for them to figure it out.  We need to get them a mini pool.  I think Chris could definitely warm up to that because he loves to play with water and make a wet mess. 

Our first attempt at bird pools didn't quite cut it.

Even though the Fourth of July weekend didn't include swimming the chickens had a good time and kicked off the month in style.  The rest of July proved to be challenging with a heat wave one week and a three day power outage another week that was caused by an epic near hurricane storm, during which Chris refused to come inside and instead flew back and forth across the porch while yours truly got sprayed with rainwater trying to catch him.  But, Chris & Holly weathered it all amazingly and were none the worse for wear.  I think country living agrees with them.

Memorial Day

A few weeks ago Chris & Holly celebrated Memorial Day in the country at Barbara's house.  (For new readers Barbara is their Grandma, and Chris' obsession.)  The birdbabies enjoyed relaxing on the screened in porch, eating lots of fresh summer fruit and visiting with Barbara.  It was their first weekend of the season on the porch and they got new swings (necessary every summer).  They seemed very happy to be outside and to see their swings.  Holly also got a new cage at Barbara's because his old one was falling apart.  I think he was satisfied with his new digs. 

Chris enjoying the porch over Memorial Day weekend

Chris on his swing

Swinging Cockatoo

Holly on his new spiral swing

Holly enjoying some fresh country air and a beautiful view

Holly's new cage.  I know, it looks like Disneyland in there!

Sexy in the City

As everyone knows (everyone who hasn't been living under a rock on Venus) Sex & the City 2 is opening later this week. One of their sponsors, Hewlett Packard, was having a promo right near the studio where Chris was shooting the Neiman Marcus catalogue last week, down on Broadway south of Prince. They were taking photos of passersby and loading them onto their site. I think they were having a contest to win a trip to NYC. I live in NYC so I don't need a trip here, but they asked if they could take a photo of Chris. Chris loves getting his photo taken and I figured it would be a good warm up for his shoot, so Chris struck a pose. I think he has to be the most handsome cockatoo in the world, but you can decide for yourself. Then they asked if they could take a photo of both of us..... so, here we are: the birdstar and his mom (yours truly) having a candid moment on the streets of New York.

Photo Shoot

This past Thursday was a hugh day for Chris. He was a model for Neiman Marcus! I had to take him to NoHo for a professional photo shoot with a human model.  This time Chris' co-model was a Russian beauty named Natalia.  Naturally, Chris was instantly attracted to her. He is such a modelizer! Plus, she had beautiful red hair, which Chris loves. I don't know how he always knows which woman is the model, but somehow he manages to fixate on the prettiest girl in the room, turns on the charm and flirts her up.  (I swear he's "romanced" more models than Leonardo DiCaprio!)  Natalia liked Chris, too, and took some photos of him with her phone........so, while she was doing that I decided to snap a few shots of my own.......

Chris and Natalia

Chris was showered with attention by the crew and made a lot of new friends.  He was even hand fed from the craft table.  He pigged out on melon, cream cheese cupcake frosting and Asian rice and vegetables!  (This was a first class operation.)  Holly came along, too, just for fun, and he also made friends and got some much deserved attention.

The professional photos of Chris are stunning!   I am hoping to get one soon that I can post.  They are supposed to appear in Neiman's September catalogue (assuming they use Chris' shots).  You never know what's going to happen but if all goes well and they use the photos I will scan the catalogue and post the photo(s) here. 

Well, time to put the birdstar to bed.  Now that he's a high fashion model he needs his beauty sleep. 

Holly's birthday

My little pionus is celebrating his 7th birthday (or hatch day) today, May 21st! He is growing up so fast. I can't believe he's been with me for 6 1/2 years. Wow! We made a birthday video to share with you. Holly likes watching it. In general he loves watching birdie videos. The past couple of years Holly had birthday parties and we had some friends over, but this year we celebrated this special day quietly at home with apple turnovers and strawberry ice cream for Chris and Holly and tuna fish for the kitty boys. Chris & Holly also each got a new toy. I got to clean up the mess ;*)

Happy Birthday Holly and many happy returns. I love you! xoxo

Class Column Cockatoo

My Cornell Alumni Magazine arrived in the mail today and I am delighted to see that class columnist Brad Mehl included a mention of this blog from the news I sent in!  See text below:

Other classmates have been busy creating websites and blogs. Want to see a fun one? Go to http://www.cockatoochronicles.blogspot.com/. This site is a quirky blog from Alison Minton about her pet parrot. The parrot is an umbrella cockatoo who has done some professional modeling (he's registered with an animal agency). Alison reports "at home he does and says lots of really cute and funny things. He speaks pretty well and often shocks everyone with what he communicates. Everyone is always asking me about him (and my other parrot) and asking to see photos and meet them and have their kids meet them, etc., so I decided to create a fun blog with lots of photos and some videos. It's going to be called 'The Cockatoo Chronicles' and hopefully will entertain and educate people about these highly intelligent animals, many species of which are endangered or protected due to loss of rainforest habitat."

Thanks Brad!  Chris the Cockatoo and I appreciate it.

Holly Look-A-Like

Recently a friend gave me a parrot razor that looks like Holly.   I've lined up a photo of Holly on the left with a photo of the razor on the right.  Not exactly a mirror image, but close enough.

The curious part is that in the accompanying note she wrote:  "This razor is by no means any suggestion you should use it on your throat or wrists."  Hmmm......the birds do drive me crazy sometimes, and I may even occasionally say I'm going to jump out the window because of their antics, but I didn't realize I needed an intervention!  Maybe it's time for a vacation sans parrots.

Easter Chicks

Yesterday was Easter and Chris & Holly had an exciting day. The Easter Bunny brought them presents and Barbara came to visit and brought them a special treat.

Chris & Holly also got some early Easter gifts and have been playing with them for a couple of weeks. Mostly Chris has been playing and driving me, Holly and the cats nuts. The birdbabies got a toy duck and a toy chick that make noise. Chris commandeered them both and all we hear now is quacking or chirping for 30 minutes at a time. At first the cats thought there was another bird in here, but now they just go in my bedroom and hide. Holly starts to protest the noise after a while and I try to block it out, but no luck. You can hear the chick briefly in this video:


The duck is louder (and possibly more annoying):




Fortunately, Chris & Holly also got gifts that don't make noise, like fun sunglasses in assorted colors:

Sporting some yellow shades

and Easter themed foam masks. Chris & Holly love to play with the masks and tear them apart. I put a blue bunny mask on Chris' back, but he didn't love that idea so he quickly stepped out of it.

Birdie got bunny back

Stepping out of the bunny mask

Chris liked it much better when I wore the mask.   He sat on my head and gave me a new hairdo to go with my new bunny face.

 

Alison sporting a bunny mask and a cockatoo hat

Barbara arrived mid-afternoon and all the boys (avian & feline) were happy to see her.  She brought cans of tuna for the kitty boys and an egg pie for Chris & Holly.  (Quiche is known around here as 'egg pie'.)  They gobbled some up in the evening after Barbara left.  But, while Barbara was here she was the main attraction for Chris. 

Chris perched on Barbara's shoulder

Chris was upset when Barbara had to leave so we went downstairs with her and escorted her into the car.  Usually Chris is in the car and we are leaving Barbara's house, but today it was the opposite.  Chris made kissy noises at her and I let him peer into the car so he could say his final 'good bye' for the day.  But, just before Barbara left Chris said "Happy Birthday."  Barbara's birthday is this month and I did tell Chris that we were going to see Barbara in a few weeks for her birthday.  Chris loves the birthday song and can say "birthday to you" but I've never heard him say "happy birthday" before.  I hesitate to think this was a coincidence.  We'll see if he says it again when we go up for her birthday. 

Before bedtime we watched Easter Parade and Chris and Holly got a last Easter treat: Easter Bunny Pez dispensers.  Chris loves Pez dispensers and pulls out all the candy and then tears the dispenser apart.  Then he plays with the heads.  As of now Easter Bunny Pez is still in tact, but I'm sure that won't last long. 

Chris rubbing his head against his Easter Bunny Pez

Holly's Easter Bunny Pez sans Holly who refused to pose with it.

Umbrella vs. Umbrella

My friend Peter came over a couple of weeks ago to help me with something on my computer.  As soon as he arrived he went over to say 'hello' to Chris & Holly.  Peter had only met them once before and not in my apartment.   I let Chris & Holly out of their cages and they started their circus routine of jumping on and off of Peter's back, arms, head & shoulders.  Chris, especially, would not leave Peter alone and was making a huge pest of himself while Peter was trying to read the instructions for my computer upgrade.  I had ordered pizza for us and fried mozzarella sticks for Chris & Holly (special treat) and thought that would distract Chris.  No such luck.  Holly was being a good boy and eating his treat.  (Admittedly, pionus parrots are a little more food driven than cockatoos.)  I decided to put Chris in his cage with a mozzarella stick.  He picked it up, violently threw it across his cage and started screaming bloody murder.  Apparently, at that moment in time, Peter was looking better to him than a mozzarella stick (big compliment coming from a cheese addicted cockatoo).  I had to let Chris out of the cage because the tantrum was horrific and we weren't going to be able to get anything done with all the screaming.  Finally, I turned to my last resort:  I handed Peter an umbrella and he had to sit under it to work.  For some reason, my Umbrella Cockatoo has always been afraid of umbrellas.  Thank goodness he's afraid of something!  I'm just not sure Peter will be willing to come over here again any time soon....

Cockatoo repellent

Chatter Box

When Chris comes home from anywhere:  boarding, Barbara's, etc, he talks a blue streak.  He is loquacious by nature, but I guess the stimulation of a 'new' environment encourages him to talk about who and what he's seen and seems to inspire him to say new things in general.  The other night when Chris and Holly got home from boarding Chris wanted a bath with his spray bottle.  While I was getting that ready I asked him if he had had fun at Dr. L's house and he answered "I don't know."  I know he has fun at Dr. L's as evidenced by the fact that he does not want to leave when I go to pick him up, but his answer, and his tone, was such a teenage boy answer it made me laugh.  During bath time he also asked me "where's the dog?" which I believe was a reference to Dr.L's dog, MacKenzie.  I think Chris would like her to be part of his flock over here.  (Me, too!)

After Chris had his spritzing I made him and Holly a snack.  They got melted cheese on a bagel (birds are supposedly lactose intolerant, but Chris and Holly love cheese, so their first veterinarian said a tiny bit for a treat is okay.  Bread is also not something birds should eat regularly because it contains yeast and can build up into a systemic yeast infection if they consume too much, but once in a while a piece is okay.)   I gave Chris his snack and then went across the room to give Holly his snack and I heard Chris' bagel hit the floor.  Then I heard a sweet little cockatoo voice say "where did it go?"  He had his foot up so it looked like he was shrugging.  Hilarious!  He had never said that before and I realized it's what I say to him when he drops something and I can't see it.  He's so smart it's scary.  When I went over to help him retrieve the bagel I was commanded to "pick it up" which I have heard before (as the slave girl who lives here and exists to serve him why wouldn't I hear that on a regular basis?). 

Chris eating his bagel treat

After snack, Chris flew onto my shoulder and hitched a ride over to the fridge where he grabbed a pen.  Parrots love to play with pens, which is not a good idea if there is an ink cartridge inside.  So I had to confiscate the pen pretty quickly, but not before he took it back to his jungle gym.

Pen snatcher

The showing off of new verbal skills continued the following day:  I was having a Vitamin Water and Chris was with me in the kitchen and said "I want some soda."  I almost fainted!  First, I couldn't believe what he had just said, and second since I don't really drink soda so I don't say that word around him.  After sharing a taste of my Vitamin Water with Chris and Holly (they love sugar) I did a little sleuthing and found out that Dr. L drinks soda at home when Chris is sitting on his lap.  I guess they've talked about soda and Chris naturally wanted some (parrots always want what you're eating).  He is so smart it kills me. 

P.S. Lest anyone think Chris and Holly are loaded up with junk food--they're not!  In fact, 95% of their diet consists of fruit, vegetables, specially formulated parrot food pellets, and seed mix. (See evidence below.) It's just that they eat their special treats when they are out of their cages and flying around, so it makes for better photos and more entertaining conversation.

Holly eating a very nutritious peach

Model Behavior

As some of you may know, Chris has done a bit of modeling. He's been in some magazines and on tv and even shot a Stussy clothing ad a few years back. I think the clothing ad was his favorite because they refered to him as "the talent" and he got to pose with a very pretty young Brazilian model. From the moment he laid eyes on her he was obsessed. He flirted shamelessly with her (I'm talking restraining order level), which fortunately fit right in with how they needed him to pose. Although the model did not speak English he somehow managed to communicate with her and to get her to say "hello" back to him. I guess the language of love is universal!

Chris modeling with a very lovely model for a Stussy clothing ad

Chris got his start modeling for a charity photo spread for Cornell University's College of Veterinary Medicine that appeared in Town & Country Magazine.   His co-model was David Neeleman the founder and (then) CEO of Jet Blue.  Chris was only 15 months old, but he behaved beautifully and professionally, and appeared to enjoy it, so I decided to see if I could get him an occasional job.   I have no idea where he learned to model because I've had him since he was two months old and, until the T&C shoot, I had only taken personal photos of him.  I guess he just liked the attention so much he figured out how to behave to get even more attention.  Now when we get in a taxi he gets really excited because he knows something fun is about to happen.  When he is on set his demeanor changes and he amazes me by becoming much more mature: he strikes poses and I've even seen him follow instructions from directors and photographers. He once shot a segment for an on line reality show and the director asked me if Chris could twirl around and the next thing I saw was Chris twirling around! He did it perfectly three times.  He has fun at the shoots, too.  When he did a "Holiday Gifts for Pets" segment for NY1 he brought a toy from home and, after his segment was finished, he played catch with three people, giving them turns in order.  (We play catch at home and he's really good.)  I guess he was just born to be a birdstar! This has also been a very interesting experience for me. I can honestly say that I never expected to be sitting in a "green room" waiting for my parrot to finish up a job.

Reserved Cockatoo

Usually Chris is quite loquacious and he's almost always up for playing his favorite game of "peek-a-boo cockatoo," but when I took this video he didn't seem to have a whole lot to say. Maybe he was tired from all of his antics. He seemed more interested in getting his claws on my camera and I think he may have even requested "hold it" when he reached out his foot towards me. (Anyone else hear that in the video?) Silly me, I gave it to him (as you'll see from the upside down footage) and he bit me in the process (as you'll hear from my reaction.) Once my hand heals (kidding) I'm going to try to shoot some more videos. I posted some of the videos on this site on You Tube (my first time ever posting on You Tube) and Chris already has a few fans! A bird star is born.

Necklaces

Much like his mommy, Chris loves jewelry and he loves to adorn himself with small objects. He will take beads or bits of toys or even fallen feathers that he and Holly have shed and he will tuck them into his feathers. I'm not sure why he does this, but a bird behaviorist told me that she had seen other cockatoos do this. Holly never does this, so I wonder if it is behavior particular to cockatoos. Lots of parrots like to play with jewelry that their people are wearing and Chris is no exception. (An unfortunate incident with a Mikimoto pearl necklace my late father gave my mother (who gave it to me) early in their marriage confirmed this. Thanks to the folks at Mikimoto is it restored to normal and, to their credit, they did not laugh in my face when I told them how it broke.)

Back to birds and jewelry: bird toy makers make necklaces for birds. They are meant for people to wear so the birds can play with these necklaces without harming the "good stuff" and interact with their people. These necklaces can also be hung in the cages so the birds can play on their own. I don't know about you, but I'd prefer not to encourage something with a beak that can crack a walnut to chew on a necklace near my face! So, Chris gets his necklaces in his cage. They are made of plastic links and have plastic and wooden beads on them. Here I am modeling one kind:

Plastic bead bird necklace

I guess Chris wanted a necklace of his own to wear because when we were playing with his toys he seemed to want me to put one around his neck.  It was actually a makeshift choker made from remnants of two of his toys:  a plastic key ring and a wooden bead.  I put it on my wrist as a bracelet, but he wanted to wear it and liked showing it off.  He got annoyed when I tried to take it off of him, but I couldn't let him wear it for too long.  I was afraid he might get his foot caught in it or hang himself, God forbid.  Here we are below playing with it.

A bracelet on Mom

Chris bending down so I can slide it on his neck...  I can imagine him bowing his head for a crown or an Olympic gold medal.

He's so fashion forward and very handsome.

He's got that cool surfer dude, California casual beach look going on.

And, of course, I got bitten getting it off of him!

Boarding

Checking out Dr. L's kitchen

Chris and Holly are a handful, Chris especially, so once in a while I need to board them and get a little break. At least that's what boarding is supposed to be in theory, but in practice I end up doubling up on other work and projects I can't get to when the dynamic duo are in the house, like writing my magazine column or cleaning my closets or starting a blog. Meanwhile, Chris and Holly spend the time with their buddy, Dr. L, at his apartment having a good time. Dr. L is a veterinary surgeon who lives just three blocks away and the boys love him and his apartment. They have cages there and all different toys then they have at home, and they get to watch animal videos on a huge tv, so they don't get bored. And, Dr. L has a small dog, MacKenzie, they find very interesting. They like to watch her and sometimes try to groom her and Chris will throw toys at her, in what I hope is an attempt to get her to play and not aggressiveness. MacKenzie is very good and she just walks away if they start to bug her. Chris and Holly also spend a lot of time grooming each other at Dr. L's which is good for their relationship with each other. As 'frenemies' they can get territoral at our apartment, but when they board, there isn't much to fight over, except who gets to sit on Dr. L!

Chris standing on MacKenzie's back

Chris & Holly jumping off MacKenzie's back

Chris grooming Holly's head

When we arrive at Dr. L's Chris always has to zoom around the apartment and check out his cage and the toys. He prances around until he finds a favorite toy and then wants to play catch with me. He also follows Dr. L around and runs after him from room to room. Holly then runs after Chris. The three of them remind me of a mother duck and her ducklings crossing the road. Very funny! On Thursday when I dropped off the boys for boarding Chris did something naughty: he bit a hole in one of Dr. L's shoes. Chris hates when feet are in shoes (bare feet are fine)and usually likes to chew on the soles, but this time he just sunk his beak right through the leather. He also spent some time checking out the pantry, focusing on a jar of applesauce. And, he watched very closely while MacKenzie ate some treats.

On Display

At least once a day this display occurs on my head, but usually with some hissing thrown in and overall more violent. For some reason it always happens when we're in the kitchen late at night. Sometimes Chris will fly into the kitchen and onto my head just to do this--repeatedly--as he hangs off my ponytail. Today I managed to capture it happening on my hand, but it wasn't really full blown. I will endeavor to film it on my head some day, although that might be tough. This daily show was scary at first, but now it just makes me laugh. Usually I cover my face though, because with a cockatoo you never know what's coming next. Sometimes he swings forward and all of a sudden there is a wing in my face.......The little voice in the background saying "hello" and "Barbara" is Holly.

Hello

Chris wanted to say a quick 'hello' and welcome everyone to his new blog.  Enjoy the video!

Cool Shades

A friend of mine gave me a pair of fun sunglasses the other day and, of course, Chris had to check them out.

A little sunglass envy

Trying them on for size

Let's see how they taste...

Hmmm...I think these are cool enough for a cockatoo

Okay, they're mine now

No, Mom can not have them back!  Turning my back on you.  Go away!

Rubber Chickens

Chris, Holly, the cats (Monty & Dusty) and I were with my mom for the holidays. Chris gets Christmas presents just like all kids, and since Christmas is his birthday (or hatch day) he also gets birthday gifts. One of his all time favorite toys is a rubber chicken doll I got him over a year ago. She, the rubber chicken, is really a squeaky dog toy called Henrietta Chicken, and she wears a rubber bathing suit. From the moment I gave it to him he has been obsessed with it. He dragged it under his cage and proceeded to guard it for long stretches of time. If I bent down to look at him under there he would hiss at me (yes, cockatoos can hiss just like cats). One time I made the mistake of trying to take a photo of him with Henrietta under his cage and he charged at me. Apparently, he does not like the paparazzi.

Under the cage with the original Henrietta in NYC

Angry about the photos and in attack mode

My mother (Barbara) found an entire family of rubber chicken dolls in a pet catalog and we ordered him all different ones: Mrs. Claus chicken, surfer dude chicken, Playboy Bunny chicken (for real!), grandma chicken, etc. Now he has a whole collection, some in my apartment and some at my mother’s house.

A sampling of rubber chicken dolls in Katonah: Surfer dude & Mrs. Claus

His treatment of the subsequent rubber chickens is the same as with the original: they live under his cages, I am not allowed to touch them, but he occasionally drags them out for a viewing and holds them up so I can look at them.

A rare Playboy Bunny Chicken viewing in NYC

I assume he considers them his family or part of his flock and he thinks they are ‘real.’ When he boards he takes one with him. Holly has some as well, but Holly is not obsessed with them. Chris likes to play with Holly’s, too. And, what is interesting is that there is a “pecking order” amongst the rubber chickens: the cockatoo is obsessed with the girls, doesn’t care for the boys, and ignores the grandma. He also does not like the boy chickens near his girls and will toss them aside……..I guess the boys are competition and the grandma isn’t hot enough for him. But, as much as Chris loves the young girl chickens he has a nasty habit of decapitating them. First he chops off their ears, then I discover their heads hanging by a rubber thread and eventually, the carnage of a headless rubber chicken in a little rubber bathing suit. Troubling to say the least.

So, for this past Christmas, Chris and Holly each got a new Playboy Bunny rubber chicken doll from Barbara. She joined surfer dude chicken and Mrs. Claus chicken under his cage at Barbara’s house. Until……Chris grabbed her and abducted her and squeezed himself in between the cage floor grating and the cage tray beneath it and dragged the Playboy Bunny chicken with him.

Caught in the act: the cockatoo hovering over the abducted rubber chicken

Lifeless rubber chicken body lying in the cage tray

He proceeded to scrape her face against the edge of the cage tray until she had no face, effectively terminating another rubber chicken.

Chris' rubber chicken without a face on the left, Holly's in pristine condition on the right

I’m not sure if this is more Henry the VIII –let’s make room for a new wife behavior- or more Jack the Ripper serial killer behavior, but either way he clearly has some misogynistic tendencies. Now, if Chris were my human son, he’d be on his way to scared straight camp in the desert followed by months of psychotherapy, but since he’s my feather child all I can do is document it and thank God I’m not made of rubber.

On the flip, gentler side Chris is in love with my mother—Barbara---and wants to cuddle with her all the time. He calls her name even when she is not around and asks me "where's Barbara?" or tells me to "call Barbara." Theirs is an interspecies love story if ever there was one (at least from the cockatoo’s point of view) and I'm sure that she too is grateful that she is not made of rubber.

Chris snuggling in Barbara's arms